Maybe this has a point. Maybe this is completely random. Maybe I found a solid way to document my feelings. This is satisfying. I was sitting on my desk at work just a week ago, writing an email to my customer, thanking him for his patience and cooperation while I handled his ticket. Now I’m sipping on a Café Mocha at one of those hundred thousand Starbucks café’s, at Central Park, New York.
I have no plan- and I feel GREAT.
Be random. Be crazy. Explore.
This world has so so much to offer, and it is always for the taking.
Go out. Your friends give you that much needed company, but you restrict your movement. So much like dancing. If you are with a friend, you take one step to the left, and one step right, keeping your front to your friend. This dance floor is yours. You are here for a reason, to dance. You think about it, and you realize that you aren’t doing justice. Snap out of your left right, and turn around, clap your hands randomly to make some noise and treat this like your playground. Forget that you even came with someone.
Aaah the possibilities open up if you only keep an open mind! Be Crazy. It’s alright to let your heart make all the decisions. Dance! I think I found a point to this. This is a toast to myself for making this decision of coming here. Halfway across the globe, just a passport in hand, and my imagination to help me
Here’s to craziness. Here’s to randomness. Here’s to things may-or-may-not working out.
Here’s what I just got in my mail:
Instituting civil and or criminal proceedings against the noticee having deliberately failed to pay an outstanding due amount for the client's telecom services."
“So what’s the worst that could happen?” is the question that my parents would warn me against asking myself, ever. Yet, this question always runs through my mind whenever I get into a situation that has a potential to open Pandora's box full of troubles, such as this one. An open threat to take me to court if I fail to pay my telephone dues.
Most would be careful enough to avoid that trouble and sort it out beforehand. "Pay up, and get it over with". They want to restore everything to the way it was, and get back their shit. Ha! The words “restore” and “back to the way it was” have just one significance. It means Living backwards.
Instead, I see this as an opportunity; to experience things in my Life (good/bad) that others haven’t had the courage or madness to cope with. It’s probably an ego issue, or that sudden touch of craziness- a
stance to challenge the system; no matter if you are right or wrong, you just want that thrill of getting involved with something that you’ve never really faced before.
On a similar context, when you know your house is in a twister prone region. Every now and again, you will hear reports of a possible storm that could destroy your house, put your life at risk, and that never ending list of reasons why you must seriously think of relocating. But no. You stay put, and you wait it out, angrily. In spite of everyone’s sermon and public warnings, you express your intent to stay, trying to prove a point. Then comes that time, when the situation gets worse, that you see this massive twister making its way into your neighborhood which was already evacuated a few days ago, and you only stare in disgust at this magnificent work of nature that people keep running away from.
You feel a sense of power, this act of defiance speaks volumes about you, this sets you apart from the rest. Most would call this utter madness, there’s minimal chance of survival- and yet, you are rock solid in stance.
Now for just a single second, your mind gives in to the possibility of the worst thing that could happen. Maybe all those warnings were made for a reason. Everyone else has left for a reason. That single doubt that seeps into your head snowballs into you questioning yourself “Damn. I should’ve listened”.
It’s too late, you panic, you pee, and you weep. Time to pray. Whether or not this storm consumes you, you’ve lost the game you’ve been playing by yourself. You just want out.
Darn it, I just debated with myself and realized that I better pay up the money I owe these people and go back to restoring things the way they were, before I end up in prison for not paying a lousy telephone bill. That would just be plain stupid.
If played at the right time, or the right place- any song will seem like a message from God. "Leaving on a Jet Plane" is that song which i'd hate listening to on any other occasion. But if it's relevant to the moment, i'd find myself in a huddle with other people, singing my heart out, tear in the eye and pointing my half empty beer bottle to this hero who's leaving town. We make things look like he's going to war, or he's going out to the Wall, saving us from the Night Walkers, and he may never come back. We want to remind ourselves how much we love this guy, and we want to believe that this guy may never come back again. And you are one of these people. You act like you're that only best friend who was always there to protect him, and this is the end- because this is where you let him go.
Holy Shit. Wake up.
He's only relocating to a better place, with a better job, better lifestyle and a much better salary than you. And if you're worried about not being able to see him again, don't. He'll make sure to visit once in a year, for his own reason which is more or less like a reality check, to gauge how much he's progressed in Life. And
if you think that sounds brutal, fuck you, because you would do that too if you were in the same place. I'm not saying that he'd come back and gloat or anything. He will miss all those good times with you, we're all human- and moving on is always tough- but he will only realize how tough leaving is when he's eventually left, and when he's by himself in a new place and he will have no one to tell him just much he's being
I spent my Saturday evening at a send-off for a close friend, and this one did not have any of those
points I just mentioned. Just a fun evening with friends, dancing, music and drinks- without a single "we will miss you" chant. The only thing that we did do wrong, I felt, is call it a "Good-bye" party; a title I feel we could have done without as well.
My point? That I feel the whole sequence of you swaying around with your friends, crying over that "Jetplane" song and all those "We will miss you" messages to that friend who's leaving, eh, it's just too much drama. This poor guy isn't even feeling that bad about leaving, he's probably excited- and here
we are putting up this show for him to force those tears out of him and make him admit that he will miss us.
If he doesn't give in, and if he holds his ground by telling us to chill out, then hell breaks lose, everything's gone haywire, and yeah I've even seen fights start over this "how could you not be emotional" shit.
It's a Monday now, and that person's gone, and we're back to doing what we do, carrying on with this
endless loop of keeping ourselves busy. If we think about how did our weekend go, we'll probably think
on the lines of "Bahut hogaya. Enough drinking, enough drama, it's time I concentrate on my own job
See? Now this is what I call waking up.
There are those people who said the same thing to themselves even before that send-off party happened on the weekend, and they were considered the outcasts at that time because they were sitting quiet and
watching, while the rest of us were in the moment.
Don't get me wrong. I love you over-the-top-emotional people, because that's what makes every send-off
so much more draame-baaz. But i'm just saying it's fine if the one who's leaving doesn't join our rona-dhona charade, and it's absolutely fine if we never play that bloody "Leaving on a Jetplane" song on every damn sendoff..!